A name at a time

I personally believe that a lot of the wedding stress stems from having too many things to do and having too little time.

One of the most important aspects of a wedding is the guests because those people are most likely going to be loved ones and close friends, and I would absolutely love for them to be there to share and celebrate in the joy of our union as husband and wife.

One of the concerns when doing up the guests list is missing out on the invitation of loved ones. It might result in subsequent awkwardness and possible hurt feelings, marring the memory of a otherwise perfect and joyous occasion.

However, one need not spend hours sitting at the table going through the phone list or Facebook to compile a list; it can be done anytime and anywhere over a period of time, making it much less stressful. It is good to write down even the very obvious guests such as parents and siblings, so that one can have a very clear and complete idea when deciding on the wedding venue and how many guests the place can accommodate.

For me, since I bring my iPad wherever I go, I keep a list in my iPad and I put my guests under different categories. So far, the categories include:

- immediate family members
- aunts and uncles
- bridesmaids
- classmates (sub-catogerized into primary and secondary schools)
- classmates from counselling class
- colleagues
- ex-colleagues (sub-catogerized into ex-companies)
- friends
- church friends

It is not a final list, I just add on to it as and when I remember a dear friend that I have missed out. It happens in the most unexpected time, for example in the midst of a conversation, when my thoughts wander off during a train ride, or just before I fall asleep.

I would "flag" some of the guests who might assume additional roles or have different needs such as being a vegetarian, or Muslim, etc. Also, having been with Himself long enough, we do share a sizeable common pool of friends, so it is very important that we do not invite the same guests twice.

Venue and guests list is a chicken-and-egg situation. We need to have a good idea of the number of guests that we are inviting before we can book the appropriate venue that can accommodate all our guests comfortably. Getting elbowed in the rib or playing musical chair are strictly forbidden.

It is good to send out the invitations early to give guests ample time to reply. This will be especially beneficial for the out-of-town guests, giving them plenty of time to make travel plans and apply for leave from work.