The scepticism of guests at wedding banquets

In Red Dot city, it is common to have a traditional wedding banquet at hotel ballrooms. It used to be mostly wedding dinners, but in recent years, wedding luncheons are getting more commonplace, because:

1) it is cheaper;
2) it is an alternative for popular wedding dates where most dinner banquet slots at hotels would have been taken; and
3) it suits our busy lifestyle.

In Asian culture, "face" is still a very important thing, especially for the older generation. The wedding banquet is usually done more for the sake of the bride's and groom's parents, so that all the relatives and friends would be invited to dine and celebrate together. In some cases, it is also an opportunity to flaunt their wealth to the relatives; the grander the wedding banquet at a better hotel, the more "face" the parents will have.

I am very fortunate to have very open-minded and understanding mum and future-in-laws who are willing to do away with such traditions. There were some protest from Himself's extended family but he was firm about not having a wedding banquet. Thank God!

In a typical wedding banquet setting, the newlywed couple will probably be at the entrance of the ballroom greeting the guests. When all the guests are seated, there will be the first march-in followed by a eight or ten-course dinner. While all that is happening, the newlyweds will just be going from table to table toasting to the guests with barely time to grab a bite in between. It will be followed by a second march-in in an evening gown and the toasting will continue. Lastly, when the last course is being served (the dessert), the bride and groom will be standing at the entrance thanking the guests for coming.

I see having a wedding banquet not much different from doing a flight. It is alike to welcoming the guests onboard, serve them food, be a good and gracious host, and then thank them at the end of the flight during disembarkation. But the saddest thing I see about the wedding banquet is, I will not be able to have any desserts at all because I will be thanking my guests outside the ballroom. :C

At my age where so many of my friends are getting married and wedding invitations are frequent, I have become rather selective about the weddings I attend because my annual leave is planned 1 year in advance as per my company's requirement. Swapping duties can be rather stressful and tedious therefore I will only consider doing that for my very close friends and loved ones.

Not only are wedding banquets insanely expensive, I also feel that the true purpose of having a banquet is not really there anymore.  I always find the idea of getting invitations from friends who rarely keep in touch rather confounding. What can I say to the newlyweds after the usual "hello and congratulations"? Also, with so many guests to entertain, there won't be much time to catch up anyway.

I have also heard sad stories from my friend Denise who is currently working as a wedding planner in a well-known landmark here. She recounted her encounters with customers who based their invite list on the prospect of making a profit out of their weddings.

Wedding banquets have slowly become mercenary rather than celebratory. Suddenly, family and friends turn into prospective profit-churning machines. This is a Facebook entry from one of my schoolmates:

I kind of had an idea who he was referring to because it was posted a day after the wedding. We have a lot of common friends from school and while I was invited to the said wedding months ahead, some of them said that they were invited only two weeks prior to the wedding. Most of them declined the invitation although they were available because they felt offended that they were on the "back-up list".

I cannot stress enough the importance of sending out wedding invitations earlier. Besides giving out-of-towners ample time to plan their trip, it can also help to prevent any unnecessary misunderstanding that may arise from sending late invitations. Learning point: people talk.

While there will always be very nice people who chose to give the benefit of doubt and tried to point out that the newlyweds probably just wanted to share their joy with him, he retorted with the following reply:

One more learning point: make a sincere effort to catch up with your friends prior to the wedding. It makes the wedding more personal and meaningful.

One last thing: Please follow up with a proper invitation card, unless you know the guests well and they expressed that they are alright with digital invitations (being environmentally friendly). Despite the advancement of technology, some people still prefer a bit of personal touch. ;)

Colours, ribbons and beads

I had lunch with mum around the neighbourhood yesterday and we visited Elsie Dept. Store, the haberdashery shop. The shop has been in business for a good three decades and things are as cheap and good as they can get. Although Spotlight has more selections of everything, I will be sure to get whatever I can from Elsie's before heading to Spotlight.

A new roll of ribbon costs as little as SGD$1.20 (0.5cm wide) and SGD$1.60 (2cm wide). For every adhoc purchase of the ribbons, 1 metre is free from every 5 metres purchased. I am very sure that I can get it at even cheaper prices in Canton or other parts of China, but after throwing air ticket and accommodation into the equation, it simply does not make economical sense.

After doing some comparison, I conclude that most of their items are cheaper than Chinatown. The downside is, it is a rather small shop and certain items might not be available. If interested, Elsie Dept Store is located at:

Blk 709 Ang Mo Kio Town Centre Avenue 8 #01-2607 (Tel: (+65) 6451 5519

Here's my steal from yesterday:

All from Elsie's! I have big plans for all these! From bridesmaids' corsages to brooches, shoes embellishments, to invitation cards!

The colour theme of the wedding had been a real head scratcher because everyone has a different opinions of what colour reflects me best. The polls are as follow:

- Himself: deep, royal purple 

- my little sis: turquoise and gold

- my batch girls: bright yellow

- Merv: lavender (I think it is a very sweet and beautiful colour, but it is a little too sleepy for me)

Although I may seem like a very bubbly person who is positive and gregarious, I think that deep inside at the very core, I am a quiet, sensitive and pensive person. After giving it some thought, I felt that somehow, the warm, soft tones of pink resonate more with me. I love bright colours for my accessories and clothes, but not for my wedding day.

Another consideration while deciding on the colour theme was my bridesmaids. Although I am not particular about what my bridesmaids might end up wearing, I would love to have a colour that would compliment everyone. Peachy pink was my best choice - it will bring out the glow on tanned skin as well as the subtle radiance on fair skin. As long as none of them have sallow skin, it will work just great. The second colour of choice would probably be purple in the shades of bluebell flowers or jacaranda flowers.

With my mind somewhat made up on the colour theme, I bought those rolls of ribbons in different widths. The shade of the green ribbons (in small amount) will compliment the peach pink ribbons beautifully. The ivory ribbons are there to make the overall look, well, more wedding-ish. I will choose ivory over white any time; certain shades of white can come across as very harsh and sterile.

I was at the supermarket with Himself when I picked up a bunch of fake roses and asked him if this colour is for me. I personally love it very much though. <3

Although yellow is a very happy colour, Merv who is a freelance photographer for weddings, explained that in a garden wedding setting, yellow will simply blend right in with the greenery. Good point, thank you Merv!

Everything is still somewhat tentative till we confirm a venue. Meanwhile, I am enjoying the exploration process and I am extremely grateful that I have the luxury of time to plan and be creative.

Ideas for corsages

Having been a bridesmaid a few times, I am so far not very impressed by the ready-made corsages loaned by the bridal shops. This is a typical example of one I have worn as a bridesmaid two years ago:

I gathered some ideas from assorted websites and Pinterest for inspirations:

Rose corsages:

Corsages with faux pearl bracelet(s)

I like the idea of using faux pearl bracelets. Adds a touch of elegance. Works well with pastel colours. For richer colours, perhaps a bit of diamante details will work better.

Lace or Chiffon Corsages:

This is my favourite so far. I love that it is girly and stylish at the same time. I think that it is not very suitable for very strong colours as it will look too heavy with the overall look, unless there is a certain type of style you hope to achieve. A little streaming ribbons will soften the overall look.
On steps on how to do this corsage, go to:
Martha Stewart corsages

Other Variations:

This can be used to make into a cute necklace for the bridesmaid too.

A very fun and bright corsage. Perfect for the sunshine and fun-loving bride and bridesmaid.

A bit too much frill for my liking but it looks very nice from a distance. They somewhat remind me of peonies and I think that it will work for a bouquet though.

Crocheted Corsages

How adorable are these?! I have to remind myself that I am almost 30 and these are just a tad too cute. ;)

These are too cutesy, using some faux pearls and hot-fix rhinestones might just work. It can be used on little flower girls. They can be reused as a hairclip after the wedding, so nothing really goes to waste. It is a corsage cum a small souvenir for the flower girl.

Here are more ideas for corsages for the young ones:

I will use thicker ribbons for the wrist. The thin ribbon looks too stark in comparison.

Paper Corsages:

These are very pretty but very fragile and hard to maintain throughout the wedding. It will be alright for an indoor wedding, but for outdoor wedding, it might not be so ideal as it will disintegrate if it rains.
To learn how to make this, go to:
Martha Stewart paper-crêpe corsage

Learn how to make them at:
How to make origami flowers

With a little creativity and complimentary colour scheme in mind, these origami flowers can be made into beautiful handheld bouquet

Beach Weddings:

This is a wonderful idea for a beach wedding!

These are perfect for a beach wedding. Frangipani flowers will do just fine too.

Themed Weddings & Others:

For the "greenies" or an exotic wedding held in the desert. Just be sure not to use cactuses (unless you do not like the guest)! ;P

A very sweet colour for a X'mas-themed wedding.

There are many other possibilities for themed weddings. For example, pinecones and glowing red autumn leaves can make very interesting corsages as well. Speaking of which, I once came across autumn leaf tempura when I was in Japan! It will be a very interesting canapé to serve at an autumn-themed wedding. ;)

Buttons, anyone? ;)

Shoe woes

I just met up with Germs, one of my friends from church. There is nothing icky about her despite what her name infers; it is simply short for Germaine. ;) She is getting married soon but her older sister, Fiona, is getting married sooner - this December!

Fiona has entrusted this big responsibility to Germs, and look to her to make the big day a success. It is rather stressful because of the time constraints as well as many other important and nitty-gritty issues. Venue has yet to be booked, and gown not yet chosen!

Germs and I were discussing about how her sister needed a pair of flat bridal shoes because she is almost as tall as her husband-to-be and has no desire to tower over her husband on her wedding day. That was when the lightbulb lighted up.

We all know that bridal shoes with heels are much easier to find than flats and with such a short time to find a pair of ideal bridal FLATS, any brides-to-be will feel a certain amount of anxiety. Fret not, tall brides, I am about to share with you an idea.

I was discussing with Germs the possibility of buying a pair of PLAIN flats. This will give the flexibility of matching the bridal shoes to your gown or flower/colour theme. You will need:


1) A pair of plain flats
2) craft glue or fabric glue that dries clear
3) Embellishments (for example):
   - ribbons (white or to match your colour theme)
   - lace (plain or already beaded)
   - rhinestones, beads or sequins
   - charms
   - silk/cloth flowers (to match your floral theme or hand bouquet)

Last but not least,
4) A touch of creativity, fun and humour.

Here are some examples that I found on the internet. They could very well have been manufactured but I am just trying to give a rough idea here on how to turn plain shoes to a unique pair of wedding shoes:

Using lace, rhinestones and ribbons:

A similar look can be achieved by using crocheted placemats or tablecloth, trimming it and using a good craft glue that is waterproof and dries clear, then adding some rhinestones and ribbons to finish the look. 

The rhinestones/glittering sand help the shoes to stand out but the lace ribbon balances the whole look by softening it. It's chic and girly at the same time.

Using silk flowers or floral shoe clips:

A similar effect can be done by using either floral shoe clips or desired silk flowers to stick on a pair of plain heels. As for the rhinestones, it can be achieved, with some meticulous hard work. Lace can be used instead of rhinestones. Lace compliments the flowers very well.

a simple pair of sateen peep-toes are instantly transformed with the clever use of some pearl strings and chiffon flowers

The lace on its own is good enough, but shoe clips, silk flowers, ribbons can be added according to your preferences:

It will not take a lot of your time, at most a day to scout for materials and a day to do it. It depends on how resourceful or creative you can get. For example, if budget is an issue, some of the lace placemats are rather intricate and cheap (I got mine at SGD$2=USD$1.30). That can work well as an alternative for lace! ;)

Unfortunately, I have no personal samples to show at the moment. I have just volunteered myself for Fiona's bridal flats! If she agrees to it, I will have something to show soon! Keep checking in!

Interesting floral-inspired updo

While I was going through the internet looking at the images of wedding hairstyles, I came across two very interesting updos:

The flower looks very "Chanel". It will be a pity to cover over it with the veil. 

This "Chanel" flower hairdo does not look too difficult. From what I observe, it is simply twisting the pleat in an inwards twirl and securing it with a simple pin at the heart of the flower. I shall ask my little sister, who is currently training to be a makeup specialist to try doing this hairstyle someday.

It looks like a blossoming tea rose. Very romantic and soft look, minimising the need for accessorising.

As for this hairstyle, it will be more challenging for my sister to try out. I shall catch her at a free time and see what she thinks of it. Hopefully she will rise to the challenge, and hopefully I will not lose too much hair in the attempt. >___<

Both updos will be perfect for the evening, during the wedding banquet. It will look stunning with an evening gown.

A side comb fringe like this will add a touch of old-world glamour to the whole look:

This type of fringe gives the updo a timeless and elegant look. I think this hairstyle will look absolutely ravishing on Asian women. A simple pair of sparkling shoulder duster, well-shaped eyebrows, a subtle sheen of eyeshadow and defined red lips will complete the look.

This type of side fringe will work better with the second updo that looks like a tea rose. It creates a very romantic yet relaxed look. Perfect for a garden wedding.

I bought a pair of shoulder dusters (SGD9.50) which I think will go very well with this hairstyle or with a richly-coloured evening gowns:

Unlike some costume jewellery that only looks good on wedding or evening gowns,  this pair of shoulder dusters can still be worn for a nice evening out, with a LBD or a well-cut structured dress and simple heels.

Bouffant, Chignon, Bohemian, and we do the twist...

I was just telling my friend how befuddled I was when I saw my female colleagues or friends getting all stressed up and tired over their wedding. Wedding should not be as such, it is after all a happy occasion, no? Or maybe I am just very fortunate that I do not have to live up to any loved ones' expectations of a perfect wedding.

However, now that I am in my friends' shoes, I can kind of see how it can be overwhelming, planning and preparing for a wedding. There are sol many details to look into in so many different areas.  Take hair for example, it is a small element but not negligible. I went through the internet and I was blown away by the so many diverse types of wedding hairstyles. Practically spoilt for choice but too many choices is not a good thing.

One of the essential things to consider when choosing a hairstyle is the basic features of a person's face. If it is round, oval or heart-shaped, high forehead, stick-out ears, etc. The correct hair style can soften or accentuate features, hide flaws and communicate a person's style... Thereafter, there are more things to consider:

- Hair colour and hair length

- Hair accessories: hair combs, tiaras, lace, flowers, etc

- Types of style: chic, unconventional, romantic, bohemian, rock chic, country, sophisticated, etc.

I realized that knowing my own personal style is a plus point because it will help me to know better what I want. When I went online to search through images on wedding hairstyles, certain images just called out to me.

Bouffant and chignon style are definitely not me; I was never a glamorous or "princess-y" kind of person. I do love long hair and loose curls though, it speaks to the inner child in me - fun, carefree and happy, with a defiant disregard for formality. In the Disney world of princesses, I would probably be Pocahontas.

I will go for soft, romantic curls with flowers in my hair, loose pleats - very bohemian style. This is my favourite hairstyle so far:

I like how relaxed and beautiful the hair looks, and how the flowers looks delicate and effortlessly natural with the hair. However, the flowers might look very striking with my black hair, therefore the flowers must not be too big or stand alone.

The following hairstyles are quite nice and they caught my eyes too:

This hairstyle is very Rapunzel and I like the way it can be pushed to the side to look like a very loose pleat.  I might not have the flowers sparsely spread out like the photo because it might look very stark and odd against dark coloured hair.

A variation on the Rapunzel hairstyle, but the basic style remains: long loose curls.

A simple but beautiful hairstyle, very child-like. Perfect with a simple wedding dress.

As much as I love the long, flowing hairstyles, hair that is too long and not styled well can make a person look tired or "tied-down", perhaps even shorter, much like the way horizontal stripes work. That would be something that I would sincerely love to avoid. With all 1.58m of me, I cannot afford to look any shorter.

Moving on, this style is very gypsy/bohemian but I kind of like it. Just not too sure if I can pull off such a look:

Maybe not for the actual wedding day, but this is one look that I might consider for my wedding photo shoot. I think it will go wonderfully with a long flowing dress that looks like the foaming sea waves, a glimpse at the rarely-exhibited, theatrical and dramatic side of me.

I love this look too, just not too sure if I can pull it off.

I know I mentioned earlier that bouffant is not for me, but somehow, the following bouffant style appeals to me. I might consider this if I need to do up my hair in order to wear a veil:

I love the overall look where the hair does not look so neat that I am afraid to have one single strand of hair out of place, but yet sweet and not too pompous. Since my wedding theme is butterflies, I might clip a pair of small butterfly pins at the top of the chignon where the veil will be pinned to.

While looking at the pictures online, I found certain things that I do not like about certain hairstyles and made notes not to repeat the very same things:

The arrangement of hair accessories are too "orderly" and seem unnatural. As a personal preference, I prefer things to look more "organic"; it is more pleasing and easy on the eyes.

Big flowers or hair accessories on their own are too striking and can look out of place on dark coloured hair. 

At the end of the day, there is no one perfect hairstyle. It all boils down to personal preference, knowing yourself well and and letting your true self shine through. While some people have big personalities and big hair that goes very well, or a sophisticated polish that makes bouffant look timeless and elegant, I am happy looking like a flower nymph. Not the kind that flit around the flowers naked (thank you very much), but the kind with flowers in their hair, sprightly, carefree and childlike.