Not perfect but trying

To Himself:

Although I may be hard to get along at times and there may be times when I am hard to love, you were always ready to forgive and move on. Although there may be times when I felt that I could do with someone better than you and said mean things to hurt you, you still said that you love me even when your eyes were filling up and I could see the pain in them.

There were times when I wished that I was with someone richer and romantic, but I know that no riches in the world can buy me a good man. You may not have a lot of money but you always try to give me the best you could.

When my old laptop died on me, you gave me your MacBook Pro because you think that I needed it more than you and you did not want me to waste money. You reprogrammed everything in it with the applications registered to my name. You learnt to be contented with your iPad mini while I added your MacBook to my iPad 2 and smartphone. You gave me the best within your capabilities.

I wanted a romantic and beautiful wedding and I got mad that you wanted to simplify and cut costs so that more savings could go to our new home. I felt that you did not love me enough to make the wedding a memorable one but in fact, you wanted more than that. You wanted a home more than a wedding because you wanted a life with me together, not just one memorable day in our lives. I see it now.

There were times when you treated me like a dude, playfully punched my arm a little too hard and even nearly twisted my skinny wrist once, but that was only because you never had a girlfriend before and didn't know how to treat me right. You wanted your only girlfriend to be your wife and lover for life and I feel so privileged that you chose me, so that I may have you fully for myself, without having to share you with the ghosts and shadows of any ex-girlfriends.

You may not be very sensitive to my needs and preferences but I know you try, in your own "mannish" way, by getting me a portable phone charger and (pink) USB cables, so that I will never be out of touch when I am oceans away.

We are both often busy with our separate lives but you bought me little toys so that I will always bring a piece of you with me wherever I go, be it snowy Moscow or beautiful Maldives. You wanted to make sure that I was never alone even when I am far away from home or when I see less of you.

You would message me almost every day to say "I love you" and "I miss you". You would spam my phone with messages and Line stickers of worried Brown bear whenever I fell asleep and forgot to tell you that I have landed safely. Although there were times when I kicked up a fuss about seeing very little of you, I was never really far from your thoughts despite your busy schedule. I see it now.

I got really upset at you when I heard you snoring mid-coversation but thinking back, you had a late night talking to me on the phone the day before followed by a long day at work and a heavy dinner. It did not mean that you did not care for what I had to say, but that you wanted to spend time and be with me despite your hectic life and fatigue. I see it now.

I had been reading "Chicken Soup for the Soul - Happily Ever After" and I cried over some touching stories, gleaned wisdom from some and decided to take time for some self-reflection. Like the way some people described how their lives flashed before their eyes when they were on the brink of death, I saw our relationship danced before my eyes like filmstrips. They were still the same memories, but I saw them in a different light for the first time. Instead of critical eyes, I saw them through more empathetic and loving eyes. I see it all now.

Although some things still remain unchanged, like how I am moody and hard to love at times, and how your salary and savings are something I constantly fret about, I will make a conscious effort to be more loving and focus on the things that really matter. All the riches in the world would not buy me a good man, especially an exceptionally loving man that would reply "I love you" in response to a childish and spiteful comment of "I hate myself for choosing you."

Enough said. This loving and silly man, my future husband = you, is a priceless gem. I was too busy seeing the things that did not measure up that I failed to see the immense amount of treasures within you. Don't give up on me. I will learn to be a good wife to you, even if it takes me a lifetime.

Braids and chignon

My younger brother is registering his marriage next month and my future sister-in-law has asked my little sis to help her with the makeup and hairstyling. Being the usual midnight owl and having mid-length hair, I was naturally my sister's preferred subject to practise hairstyling on.

My little sis does not have formal training in bridal hairstyling and she learnt all those skills simply from watching YouTube videos or reading up instructions on the Internet. Last week she tried doing a chignon with braids and the photos are as follow:

My little sister trying the same hairstyle for the second time. It was quite messy the first time but she got better at it.

The back view of the hair after she was finished with it.

From the side

Adding a simple tiara is a nice touch, and I like how nicely the tiara sits on the hair.

I cut a section of the beaded lace I bought at Spotlight ($14.99/m), and used it as a hairpiece, instead of the tiara:

If vintage is more your style, place a lace hairpiece on the side. Having some pearls sewn to the lace will give it a more elegant touch. I was feeling lazy, so I just used a really thin plastic hairband and tucked both ends of the lace under the hairband.

Top view of the lace hair piece.

We had a lot of fun exploring the different looks. There were also a few learning points while we were trying out the chignon/braid hairstyle. As much as braids add very nice details to an otherwise plain hairstyle, it can be rather tricky. I ended up with a lot of "bald spots" because the hair were not properly parted and my sister tied the braids too tightly:

Look at that bald patch! I certainly hope that I am not balding! If my sister had taken bits of hair and add it on to the braid as she worked on it instead of just randomly grabbing a bunch of hair and start braiding away, that bald patch would be at least minimised. Loose braids would help too.

I used the same piece of lace and placed it near my collarbone. It will work very well as a choker too. This is one of the DIY projects I have on my list. I ordered some faux pearls and coral beads online and they arrived just before I left for Jo'burg. I will be working on the lace chocker once I find time.

Part 2: Learning to love better

Himself and I are no different from any couple that comes together. Being unique individuals, we are a relationship where similarities and differences harmonise and clash at the same time. In our case, we are more different than we are similar and it has caused us both a lot of pain at times.

Our recent disagreements only amplified how very different we are but in the midst of it all, we still find it in both our hearts to love and cherish each other. I shared with Merv that there were times when I resented being with Himself. My exact words were, "I think a part of me died when I got together with him."

Himself is a very pragmatic, predictable and steadfast person who would rather cut cost on the wedding and put more money into paying for our future home while I am a romantic at heart and love spontaneous moments. Spontaneous and unplanned encounters are like stolen moments in time - candid, precious and memorable. I think he killed off a little of that free-spirit in me over time.

I dream of a near future where we would do road trips in our travels and I would pack my wedding gown in the car trunk, capturing memorable and spontaneous moments wearing it. I imagine a future where we would travel to see northern lights and hug each other in the cold. My heart soared at these thoughts.

In reality, it will be hard for Himself to go away with me because of his commitment at work, to the church and his sheep, as well as his financial constraints. Also, he is never someone big on spontaneity, a quality which I dearly wished for in him at times.

I was lamenting to Merv how Himself would prefer a function room over a beautiful lawn for the sake of cost and pragmatism on our one and only wedding day. It broke my heart and I nearly cried when we discussed that last friday. No evergreen arcs, no rustic benches, no solemnisation under the sun.

It was made even worse when Himself said that he might want to use our wedding as an opportunity for some of our guests to come to know God. He had tentative plans of preaching at his own wedding. At that moment when he said that, I could feel myself collapsing inwards in horror. I wanted to run away from it all.

Merv listened through it all patiently and he then told me that he gave up his dream of getting married in a church so as to grant his wife her dream wedding, simply because he loves her, and he loves her more than his own dream wedding.

I kind of see his point but I still cannot help feeling sad and disappointed. Nonetheless, I am determined to work things through with Himself though, because I believe that we will emerge from this whole episode stronger and understanding each other's needs better.

In the midst of wedding planning, conflicts are bound to arise. I am learning to take it all in my stride and strive to be as creative with my solutions as possible. Staying positive is key.

An even more important lesson I learnt (although it is something so obvious but yet at times overlooked) is to continue to love your other half, even in the face of conflicts and disagreement. In the bigger scheme of life, the wedding day may be significant, but it is just a day in a lifetime of marriage.

Part 1: Aspects of a garden wedding

Last friday evening, the night out with Himself did not end too well. He was not his usual patient, loving and magnanimous self and he got a little snappy at me when we talked about the Hort Park and the possible issues we might face. It turned out that he was falling sick and that caused him to be very cranky. Although he could not help it, it hurt me and I went home feeling very sad.

I was very fortunate that just hours ago, I had a walk and dinner with Merv and managed to put certain things in perspective. Although there were no conclusive outcomes on the venue, I ended the night feeling much better and learning a thing or two about loving my other half.

While we took an evening walk at Bishan Park, Merv and I talked about the possible issues that may crop up during an outdoor wedding. As a seasoned photographer, a married man and a very wise friend, he gave me his two cents' worth:

Weather:
Since we are only inviting family members and very close friends as our guests, they will brave any weather just to be there to witness and celebrate the union of their loved ones. Period.

Of course, I would love to make my guests as comfortable as possible. The warm weather could be easily countered by installing ceiling fans in the tents.

As for myself, I had already told Himself that in the worse case scenario where it rains (unless there are thunder and lightning), I will be more than delighted and gleeful to hold his hand and run down the aisle with an umbrella. It will be so much fun and so spontaneous. I just have to make sure that my eyeliner and mascara are waterproof.

Anyway, Merv also pointed out that it should not be too warm in the morning because the ground/lawn will be cold from the night before.

Photography:
From a photographer's point of view, a function room with glass panes that make up most of its walls is not a good place for good photos, because vantage points for taking photographs will be limited, due to the reflection of light and people from the glass panes.

Merv loves the idea of having the solemnisation in the morning too, because morning light can make for very beautiful photographs. I think that it will be even more so in garden settings, where colours are vibrant and bright.

Sound/Acoustics:
Merv shared that the sound in a function room might not necessary be better, because the sound may bounce off the walls and low ceiling. So taking that into consideration, outdoor might not do any worse. With strategically placed sound systems, good acoustics can still be achieved outdoors.

The only issues left now are perhaps the tentage costs and the possibility of a bad weather on the wedding day. I am trying to be creative and thinking of ways to work around the tentage issue. As for the weather, it is an issue of little concern to me because rain or shine, I know that I will still want to marry this silly man.

A Green Wedding, Symbolising an Evergreen Love

Although a part of me is into recycling and being green, I prefer the floral theme for my wedding. Still, it's nice to explore other themes :)

I found this picture on Pinterest and I absolutely love! What a lush and beautiful place to have a wedding in!

Some ideas for the greenies out there:

Ring Pillows:

This is my favourite! Au natural

Wedding Corsages and bouquets:

boutonnieres made with succulents

Artichokes on stems, salal leaves, angel vines. Wonderful fillers for arrangements and bouquets

from: http://www.brides.com

Blue & Green Hydrangeas

green-and-white anemones, viburnum, hyacinth, pine, lavender, and mint. It was accented with white feathers at the base

ElisaBPhotography

ElisaBPhotography

lush clutch of ferns with parrot tulips

A bouquet of wild flowers

Wedding Favours:

Decorations:

Grassy centrepieces

Green centrepieces. The silver vase gives it a polished and modern look.

Centrepiece with pears. Suitable for autumn themed wedding.

Evergreen Candle Holder

Hanging decorations from http://www.brides.com/

Baby's breath decoration

Vintage birdcage with green floral decorations

So Luscious! Love it!

Menu/Food:

Visit: www.trophycupcakes.com

French vanilla butter cookies stacked with French vanilla Swiss butter cream. Handmade gumpaste hydreangeas, dusted with petal dust. Edible sugar pearls dusted with edible pearl luster.

Love those intricate designs on these macaroons!

lime green cupcake couture. Website is in Spanish but can use Google translate

Click here for the recipe. I love that it look so clean and unpretentious.

Wedding Cakes:

Yet another picture that I got from Pinterest. I tried to get the source of the picture but to no avail. A very pretty and girly cake nonetheless.

ElisaBPhotography

styleunveiled.com

I will keep coming back to this blog to add more ideas as I come across more in time. Keep checking in!