Himself and I are no different from any couple that comes together. Being unique individuals, we are a relationship where similarities and differences harmonise and clash at the same time. In our case, we are more different than we are similar and it has caused us both a lot of pain at times.
Our recent disagreements only amplified how very different we are but in the midst of it all, we still find it in both our hearts to love and cherish each other. I shared with Merv that there were times when I resented being with Himself. My exact words were, "I think a part of me died when I got together with him."
Himself is a very pragmatic, predictable and steadfast person who would rather cut cost on the wedding and put more money into paying for our future home while I am a romantic at heart and love spontaneous moments. Spontaneous and unplanned encounters are like stolen moments in time - candid, precious and memorable. I think he killed off a little of that free-spirit in me over time.
I dream of a near future where we would do road trips in our travels and I would pack my wedding gown in the car trunk, capturing memorable and spontaneous moments wearing it. I imagine a future where we would travel to see northern lights and hug each other in the cold. My heart soared at these thoughts.
In reality, it will be hard for Himself to go away with me because of his commitment at work, to the church and his sheep, as well as his financial constraints. Also, he is never someone big on spontaneity, a quality which I dearly wished for in him at times.
I was lamenting to Merv how Himself would prefer a function room over a beautiful lawn for the sake of cost and pragmatism on our one and only wedding day. It broke my heart and I nearly cried when we discussed that last friday. No evergreen arcs, no rustic benches, no solemnisation under the sun.
It was made even worse when Himself said that he might want to use our wedding as an opportunity for some of our guests to come to know God. He had tentative plans of preaching at his own wedding. At that moment when he said that, I could feel myself collapsing inwards in horror. I wanted to run away from it all.
Merv listened through it all patiently and he then told me that he gave up his dream of getting married in a church so as to grant his wife her dream wedding, simply because he loves her, and he loves her more than his own dream wedding.
I kind of see his point but I still cannot help feeling sad and disappointed. Nonetheless, I am determined to work things through with Himself though, because I believe that we will emerge from this whole episode stronger and understanding each other's needs better.
In the midst of wedding planning, conflicts are bound to arise. I am learning to take it all in my stride and strive to be as creative with my solutions as possible. Staying positive is key.
An even more important lesson I learnt (although it is something so obvious but yet at times overlooked) is to continue to love your other half, even in the face of conflicts and disagreement. In the bigger scheme of life, the wedding day may be significant, but it is just a day in a lifetime of marriage.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Part 1: Aspects of a garden wedding
Last friday evening, the night out with Himself did not end too well. He was not his usual patient, loving and magnanimous self and he got a little snappy at me when we talked about the Hort Park and the possible issues we might face. It turned out that he was falling sick and that caused him to be very cranky. Although he could not help it, it hurt me and I went home feeling very sad.
I was very fortunate that just hours ago, I had a walk and dinner with Merv and managed to put certain things in perspective. Although there were no conclusive outcomes on the venue, I ended the night feeling much better and learning a thing or two about loving my other half.
While we took an evening walk at Bishan Park, Merv and I talked about the possible issues that may crop up during an outdoor wedding. As a seasoned photographer, a married man and a very wise friend, he gave me his two cents' worth:
Weather:
Since we are only inviting family members and very close friends as our guests, they will brave any weather just to be there to witness and celebrate the union of their loved ones. Period.
Of course, I would love to make my guests as comfortable as possible. The warm weather could be easily countered by installing ceiling fans in the tents.
As for myself, I had already told Himself that in the worse case scenario where it rains (unless there are thunder and lightning), I will be more than delighted and gleeful to hold his hand and run down the aisle with an umbrella. It will be so much fun and so spontaneous. I just have to make sure that my eyeliner and mascara are waterproof.
Anyway, Merv also pointed out that it should not be too warm in the morning because the ground/lawn will be cold from the night before.
Photography:
From a photographer's point of view, a function room with glass panes that make up most of its walls is not a good place for good photos, because vantage points for taking photographs will be limited, due to the reflection of light and people from the glass panes.
Merv loves the idea of having the solemnisation in the morning too, because morning light can make for very beautiful photographs. I think that it will be even more so in garden settings, where colours are vibrant and bright.
Sound/Acoustics:
Merv shared that the sound in a function room might not necessary be better, because the sound may bounce off the walls and low ceiling. So taking that into consideration, outdoor might not do any worse. With strategically placed sound systems, good acoustics can still be achieved outdoors.
The only issues left now are perhaps the tentage costs and the possibility of a bad weather on the wedding day. I am trying to be creative and thinking of ways to work around the tentage issue. As for the weather, it is an issue of little concern to me because rain or shine, I know that I will still want to marry this silly man.
I was very fortunate that just hours ago, I had a walk and dinner with Merv and managed to put certain things in perspective. Although there were no conclusive outcomes on the venue, I ended the night feeling much better and learning a thing or two about loving my other half.
While we took an evening walk at Bishan Park, Merv and I talked about the possible issues that may crop up during an outdoor wedding. As a seasoned photographer, a married man and a very wise friend, he gave me his two cents' worth:
Weather:
Since we are only inviting family members and very close friends as our guests, they will brave any weather just to be there to witness and celebrate the union of their loved ones. Period.
Of course, I would love to make my guests as comfortable as possible. The warm weather could be easily countered by installing ceiling fans in the tents.
As for myself, I had already told Himself that in the worse case scenario where it rains (unless there are thunder and lightning), I will be more than delighted and gleeful to hold his hand and run down the aisle with an umbrella. It will be so much fun and so spontaneous. I just have to make sure that my eyeliner and mascara are waterproof.
Anyway, Merv also pointed out that it should not be too warm in the morning because the ground/lawn will be cold from the night before.
Photography:
From a photographer's point of view, a function room with glass panes that make up most of its walls is not a good place for good photos, because vantage points for taking photographs will be limited, due to the reflection of light and people from the glass panes.
Merv loves the idea of having the solemnisation in the morning too, because morning light can make for very beautiful photographs. I think that it will be even more so in garden settings, where colours are vibrant and bright.
Sound/Acoustics:
Merv shared that the sound in a function room might not necessary be better, because the sound may bounce off the walls and low ceiling. So taking that into consideration, outdoor might not do any worse. With strategically placed sound systems, good acoustics can still be achieved outdoors.
The only issues left now are perhaps the tentage costs and the possibility of a bad weather on the wedding day. I am trying to be creative and thinking of ways to work around the tentage issue. As for the weather, it is an issue of little concern to me because rain or shine, I know that I will still want to marry this silly man.
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
A Green Wedding, Symbolising an Evergreen Love
Although a part of me is into recycling and being green, I prefer the floral theme for my wedding. Still, it's nice to explore other themes :)
Some ideas for the greenies out there:
Ring Pillows:
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I found this picture on Pinterest and I absolutely love! What a lush and beautiful place to have a wedding in!
Some ideas for the greenies out there:
Ring Pillows:
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| This is my favourite! Au natural |
Wedding Corsages and bouquets:
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| boutonnieres made with succulents |
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| Artichokes on stems, salal leaves, angel vines. Wonderful fillers for arrangements and bouquets |
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| Blue & Green Hydrangeas |
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| A bouquet of wild flowers |
Wedding Favours:
Decorations:
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Grassy centrepieces |
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| Evergreen Candle Holder |
Vintage birdcage with green floral decorations
Menu/Food:
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| Visit: www.trophycupcakes.com |
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French vanilla butter cookies stacked with French vanilla Swiss butter cream. Handmade gumpaste hydreangeas, dusted with petal dust. Edible sugar pearls dusted with edible pearl luster.
Love those intricate designs on these macaroons!
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Wedding Cakes:
Yet another picture that I got from Pinterest. I tried to get the source of the picture but to no avail. A very pretty and girly cake nonetheless.
I will keep coming back to this blog to add more ideas as I come across more in time. Keep checking in!
Monday, August 12, 2013
Online Wedding Dress
04 August 2013, Sunday Morning
It came. I knew it the moment I saw the DHL package. I was filled with mixed feelings - excitement and a little apprehension. I was about to reap the fruit of my craziness. Just what was I thinking when I ordered it online?! USD$183 poorer, filled with bubbling excitement and a teeny bit of self-loathing at my spendthrift ways, I tore it open with gusto, savouring that maddeningly exhilarating moment.
VOILA~! A beaded lace bodice. Lace. More lace. And then the whole dress was free from the package! It did look like what I ordered! Phew! Slipping off my work uniform and slipping into that dreamy dress took less than a minute. I did not look my best after 14 hours of oxidised makeup and work but it was good enough for the moment. With macaroons in my fridge and my wedding dress here, nothing could ruin my white happiness.
It came. I knew it the moment I saw the DHL package. I was filled with mixed feelings - excitement and a little apprehension. I was about to reap the fruit of my craziness. Just what was I thinking when I ordered it online?! USD$183 poorer, filled with bubbling excitement and a teeny bit of self-loathing at my spendthrift ways, I tore it open with gusto, savouring that maddeningly exhilarating moment.
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| It has nothing to do with the wedding dress, but I just wanna show the beautiful colours of the macaroons :D Look how pretty! It adds life to the whole entry! It inspires me to have lots of colourful balloons at the wedding. It will add colour and life to the photos. |
As expected, it did not fit me too well because the vendor made it according to the standard US size 6. It was good enough though. I was contemplating between size 4 and 6 when I bought it. No doubt, size 4 will fit snugly but I did not want it to be so tight that it accentuates the unnecessary curves, or that it causes me to wheeze for need of air. At least with size 6, there would be extra fabric to work with, when I need to alter it to my figure nearing my wedding day.
I love the lace train! Isn't it beautiful?! USD$183 for a wedding dress is a very good buy! So yes, this is one crazy thing I did but I am glad that I did it. I just told myself that the worst thing that could happen is that I get something crappy for USD$183. So I guess all turned out well!
Saturday, August 10, 2013
Dreaming of a Garden Wedding - Hort Park
After talking about it so much, we finally went to visit the prospective site yesterday, where we would like to have our wedding. Himself wanted a garden wedding, because he thinks that it is so "me". He wanted the place to be a reflection of me. How sweet is that?
It was a warm and humid afternoon at Hort Park. It is a very beautiful place indeed and I could see why Himself liked it. A spiral staircase led us down to the function rooms and the lawn. I love the green lawn, the serenity and the degree of privacy it offers for a private function. Despite the uncomfortable afternoon, the park itself was surprisingly cool and breezy.
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| Near the entrance of Hort Park, which leads downstairs to the lawn. |
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| The spiral staircase that leads down to the function rooms and lawn, as well as the black steel bars that provides certain degree of privacy for private events. |
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| A view of the tiered lawn, from the main function room. |
Himself talked about simplifying the whole wedding and booking the function room for the event and having a buffet reception outside the function room, facing the lawn. However, I was more in favour of having the wedding on lawn itself. It will be so beautiful and I can totally picture it in my mind.
This was where one of our heated arguments started. Himself was very concerned about the costs of tentage, the acoustic quality in the open air, as well as the humid weather that might make the guests uncomfortable. Also, he did not like the feeling of being subjected to the weather on that day.
I could sort of see his point but in the midst of me throwing a princess tantrum and wanting things my way, we both decided to leave the issues hanging in the air till we do our homework on the highlighted concerns.
Germs and I will be going to to a wedding fair next week and I will be meeting up with Merv soon. I shall try to see if I can find ways to address the concerns. I still maintain that it will be an absolute waste not to make good use of the lawn.
No doubt it will be more costly and troublesome to have a wedding solemnisation on the lawn but I wished so hard that Himself would empathise and understand that this is the only wedding that I am ever going to have. If I planned on having it in the function room, I could very well do it in any function room anywhere.
In this case, I don't mean to be mean but it is just lame to have it in a function room in Hort Park. It is as good as going to Maldives and swimming in the pool when the pristine sea is just right next to it. I think I made my point.
If only we have cooler weather in some months instead of the tropical weather all year round, an outdoor wedding would have been perfect, well without the need for tentage.
Despite having all the disagreements, we both really like that place and agree that it is a beautiful place to say "I do".
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