The Grave Story behind Balloons

I love colours, without a doubt. When I think about my own wedding, I can see the event in my mind's eye, splashed with vivid colours, vivacious and reverberating life. Balloons were one of the ideas listed on my list, to add colours to the whole event.

What's not to love about balloons? They add a whimsical touch to the whole picture. Big bunches of balloons that one could hold on to and almost float away with the wind, almost. The idea of landing wherever the wind blows, like a dandelion seed spiralling in the wind is almost childlike and carefree, romantic.

I have seen photos of how balloons can, under a skilled and creative photographer, be transformed into something dreamy, romantic or childlike. I love the photos taken by Bittersweet Photography by joseph:

bittersweetbyjoseph: Ian & Ee Jia's wedding

bittersweetbyjoseph: Ian & Ee Jia's wedding

bittersweetbyjoseph: Eric & Priscilla

I must admit that I was shortsighted, being caught up in the desire for my wedding to be colourful and aesthetically pleasing. As much as the balloons might liven up the whole event, it comes with a price that I am unwilling to pay. The following article, although not related to my wedding, came with a very grave message and caused me to rethink about using balloons at my wedding:

Ponggol Balloon Released Canned

By the way, the Ponggol resident Cherh Kah Leng, is one of my dearest friends and we both share a love in preserving our environment and leaving a legacy for our future generation. We knew each other when we both started our flying career almost seven years ago, together with our dear Vera. She left flying to further her education in marine biology and continue her efforts at preserving the marine ecology. She is one the friends that I am truly and fiercely proud of. In her honour, NO BALLOONS shall be used at my wedding. Any balloons which might used during photography sessions will be responsibly disposed of.

This news article had came in very timely and I am glad that it reminded me of the repercussions and the heavy price I have to pay for a colourful, balloon-filled wedding:

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A beautiful day with gorgeous weather... the happy bride and groom said "I do", a kiss exchanged, champagne popped, and balloons released. A truly beautiful and joyous moment.

The newlyweds tossed their handheld bouquet to their single friends, and with the well wishes of their loved ones departed in their bridal car, ready to embark on their exciting twosome journey.

Meanwhile balloons floated higher and higher, out of sight, out of mind, a colour but trivial role in the wedding. Sometime soon, they were bound to burst and descend back earth, limp pieces of rubber. Some will find their way to the stomachs of hungry and inquisitive wildlife, either serving a quick death by suffocation or a slow gruesome death by clogging their intestines.Some will be washed back to the shore as unsightly litter.

Not to mention a waste of finite resources: helium.

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I am unwilling to let my special day be stained by the lingering and damaging effects of littering, marine pollution and the possibility of taking the lives of wildlife.

Balloons blow, don't let them go.

Some food for thought.

The Price of a Wedding

Who can put a price on a lifetime of marital bliss, and what determines it? A grand wedding that is bound to have relatives and friends talking about it for weeks?

As I read the following article posted on Facebook, I felt sad and it further steeled my resolve to focus on the things that mattered more. It also affirms my decision to be a self-sufficient and DIY bride. No funding from either set of parents, no loans, no debts. Every month, Jeremiah and I would deposit a certain amount of money into our joint account to save up for our big day, and thereafter, for our future home.

Dream $110k wedding ends in debt:

http://news.omy.sg/News/Local-News/Dream-110k-wedding-ends-in-debt-232671

We have long decided that we would have a wedding that is within our means and more importantly, a special day filled with the presence of our family members and loved ones, without any obligations of monetary gifts. The precious time guests take out to celebrate with us a new phase in our lives means more than any gifts they could bring us.

I am definitely not saying that having a grand wedding is wrong, but it is very important to plan a wedding within one's means. For us, we are both enjoying the process of saving up for our own wedding; doing it together makes the whole event more meaningful, as it is marks the beginning of our lifelong partnership, cleaving from our parents and making it on our own as a new family unit.

Having said all that, life is not always a bed of roses. We had our contentious moments, but it only propels us to be more creative in resolving our issues, and in the process become more empathetic and loving towards each other.

A Little Piece of Tradition

When the terms cabin crew, air hostess and/or flight attendant are mentioned, images of vivacious and fun-loving beautiful people who live the high life come to mind. Sorry to disappoint you people, but most of us are not like that. ;) At least not for most of the cabin crew that I have encountered and worked with.

I am pretty much a sentimentalist, and in certain aspects, a traditionalist at heart. I found these earrings in Guangzhou and I was simply drawn to them. They are may be modern accessories, but they are traditional symbols that represent my Chinese roots, and I would still love to maintain some of those traditional and cultural elements on my wedding day.

The Chinese character in the circle means "Double Happiness", used during a Chinese couple's wedding. It can often be seen in the form of wall stickers, in traditional metal wash basins, or embroidered on blankets and bedsheets.

<3 I like that there is a golden endless knot above the double-happiness, symbolising endless double happiness. <3

Eternal/Endless knot: although it has been to linked to Buddhist and Celtic symbols, I just like the idea of infinity; eternal and endless. I see it as a symbol of our love and friendship bound in our marriage vows: till death do us part.

I might not wear it on my wedding day but I bought it as I felt that they could make for some nice photos.

Also, the traditional Chinese symbols reminded me of my Chinese roots and resounded with values that I hold close to my heart: 饮水思源 - to remember our roots and (humble) beginnings and be grateful for our blessings.

Arrival in Guangzhou

16 Nov 2013, 0148hrs

Ok, here I am at Guangzhou airport, sitting on my luggage, waiting for my bestie and her partner, Jerrie to arrive. I took advantage of my yearly free air ticket while they took a budget airline. More than an hour has passed and I must admit that my butt is getting numb. it will be at least another 30 minutes before they are due to arrive.

I am really excited to be here and to be honest, a little apprehensive. 3 girls taking a taxi at 3am in a foreign land, kinda dangerous. The stories of snatch thieves, conmen and petty crimes did not help ease my anxiety at all.

However, let's send out good thoughts to the universe and focus on the more positive stuffs shall we? The purpose of this trip is a happy and exciting one to begin with. :)

I am hoping that this trip will bring me closer to being a bride!!! ^^ After surfing the online shops so often, I realized that most of the stuffs I bought online are from China, so why not just make a trip there and buy what I need? Stumbling upon information that Guangzhou has lots of wholesale markets was a happy accident. The silver lining to it? It has a wedding street!!! Everything and anything related to wedding, from accessories to wedding dress! It is a place where one could buy off the shelf or have it custom-made.

I have left 2/3 of my luggage empty with hopes of filling it with fake flowers, organza, sateen, lace, beads and ribbons. I just hope that my haggling skills will be good enough. More updates soon!

Making Tiny Bows

I chanced upon this blog while browsing and I found it really handy, as gift toppers, decorations for cards or just general decorations. All you need is just a four-tined fork and ribbons of your choice:

Handimania: How To Make A Tiny Bow

You may click on the link to see the full tutorial and tips on how to make it. I will in time post my own handiwork when time allows for a little DIY. :)

Of organza flowers and life

A nondescript evening at home with the sound of tv in the background and the fan humming quietly away. Mum sat down at the kitchen table next to me, curious about the box that I had placed on the table. It was my "bridal box"; a clear, rectangular plastic box that contained scraps and materials that might come in handy for my bridal D.I.Y. projects, as well as some flora and beaded hairpins.

Giving her a bored look, I told her that I was trying to make something out of those strips of organza cloth which was the result of an abandoned D.I.Y. project almost 7 years ago. It was meant to be made into drawstring bags which never happened. One of the reasons why it never happened was because I was never any good at sewing.

Mum suggested that I tread the needle in-and-out and then scrunch it together. It came out looking ok but I started to improvise and improve. It got better with practice and soon started to look good. I was soon immersed in it, with the humming sound of the fan as my companion, while mum left me to go about her household chores.

It was a very enjoyable experience, learning to be comfortable with a needle and thread. Almost like a child learning to be just a little bit more independent.

When mum was done with her chores, she sat down next to me once again. Seeing the untidy and haphazard way I sewed and tied the thread, she taught me how to tie a secure knot at the end of it. It was rather easy but I just kept forgetting. Every time that happened, she would patiently take over and demonstrate to me once again. Warmth trickled down my whole being like melted honey, sweet, warm and filled with bliss.

At the same time, I felt a little chocked up. Suddenly, I could see the lines on my mother's face and the veins on the back of her weathered hands more clearly than ever. I realised that life has almost come a full circle. Tonight, at the kitchen table, it was not only about organza flowers. It was also about preparing to be a bride, and learning the ropes of a wife and a mother.

I know that my mum was not a born perfect mother but she learnt and she tried her best to be one. In a few years, I will be in her shoes. I know it is a little scary to think about it right now and it sounds like a humongous role but like my mum, I know that I will give it my best shot.

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Parents rarely let go of their children, so children let go of them. They move on. They move away. The moments that used to define them - a mother's approval, a father's nod - are all covered by moments of their own accomplishments. It is not until much later, as skin sags and the heart weakens, that the children understand; their stories, and all their accomplishments, sit atop the stories of their mothers and fathers, stones upon stones, beneath the waters of their lives.
- Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet In Heaven

Paper doily backdrop

It was definitely the Law of Attraction. I was just thinking about how to maximise the use of doilies and perhaps contribute to my brother's ROM (registration of marriage) ceremony when I saw this display in one of the shops while window-shopping:

the shop display in one of the malls

I discreetly took a photo on my handphone before going closer to take in the details of how it was done. I liked the concept of it but the paper doilies were arranged too closely together, kind of suffocating the whole look. It literally "cramp the style".

Some of the considerations I had for the paper doily backdrop:

1. the length of the strands;
2. something to weigh the strands down so it does not entangle;
3. how to hold the strands together; and
4. how to keep the individual doily in its place.

In the end, I opted for the strand to be 1.5 metres in length since I only needed it as a backdrop and did not require it to reach the ground.  I also contemplated using small tumbled pebbles as weights at the end of the strand but changed my mind when I saw how appropriate and cheap those heart-shaped plastic beads were selling at Elsie's.

These clear, plastic beads were selling at SGD1.80 for 7 pieces
measures about 2cm

I started on it by taping both ends of the fishing line to the sides of my bookshelf. It was hard to keep the doily pom-poms in its place and eventually, I figured a way to do just that. I tied a knot before I stapled the pom-poms on the line, ensuring that one of the staples is ABOVE the knot to keep it from slipping down.

Finished product for the backdrop.

I stapled seven pieces of doilies together in the centre and I started to scrunch them up one by one, leaving the one in the centre untouched. The first and the last piece got scrunched the most. I alternated the length of the strands so that it looked more interesting. I finished off by tying a plastic heart-shaped bead at the end of each strand.

I started out using three pieces of doily paper, followed by five, and I found out that using seven pieces of doily paper gave the best effect. It makes the pom-pom looks rounder and does not easily separate itself into half as can be seen in some of the pom-poms in the photo. If not for the time constrain and tiredness (I just finished my French proficiency test and had yet to pack for Munich), I would have glued the inner part of the centre pieces of the pom-poms together so that they would not separate.

Anyway, it turned out very well as a backdrop, especially against the lush greenery:

It can make for some nice photos too:

My brother getting ready for his ROM ceremony

Himself and I using it as a background for our photo

This was certainly not the best and it could be done better with more practice and time. It was a good attempt nonetheless and I will work on it further for my wedding if it is in a garden setting. The only concern about this DIY project is that although it works nicely outdoors, it will not survive a rainy day.

Another lightbulb moment:

Besides pom-poms, the paper doilies can be made into bluebell or morning glory flowers. Simply make a knot on the fishing line and poke two pieces of doily paper right through from the top. Scrunch the top part of the paper doily and let the detailed and scalloped part of the doily fold naturally to the scrunch.

An alternative to paper doily: paper cupcake holders. Do the same as the paper doilies, and the good thing is, it already comes with folds. Also, there are more colour and design options when it comes to cupcake holders, hence a more colourful and fun backdrop. ;)

I hope that this has been useful. Feel free to share your ideas if you have any to make it better or more interesting!

Of self-discovery and changes

I have learnt something in the past few months since Himself popped the question and I said "yes":

Preparing and getting married is a chapter in our lives, and how it is in itself a journey of self-discovery and change. For example, Germs told me how she finds her sister, Fiona, is being fickle-minded when it comes to her wedding, not knowing exactly what she wants. I think it is because Fiona is in a place where she is trying to find herself, the perfect gown, bridal shoes, or wedding settings that resonates with her.

Isn't it a phase in our adolescent years that we could all relate to? Finding our own identity in a world that can often proved exhilarating and overwhelming at the same time? Thumbing through one bridal magazine after another and working through all the myriad of bridal gowns are somewhat similar.

Also, I realised that beside coming to know myself better, I realised that we change and perhaps grow and evolve in the process too. I am so glad that I am given the luxury of time in this journey, to pay more attention to the things that happen and learn from it.

When I first embarked on this, I thought I wanted to something more childlike - braids and flowers in my hair. It has not changed, but it has evolved. I wanted a more womanly look with traces of childlikeness. Perhaps it was not the childlikeness that I was striving for, but the concept of being carefree with a subtle defiance, snubbing conventions and following one's heart. At the same time, I would like to be able to reflect femininity, soft but resilient.

This line of thought gradually caused me to explore more into Bohemian style. I now see myself wearing beaded brocade shoes rather than shoes with lace. I see the possibility of a head band made of lace and pearls instead of flowers set amongst a head of braids and long, flowing curls (which reminds me, I need to start growing out my hair!)

Some of the hairpieces that I really love (at this point in my life):

from http://wish-upon-a-wedding.com

Erica Elizabeth design Fall/Winter 2013

I am also started to be attracted to lace details and pearls:

http://www.stylemepretty.com

Vintage Lace Wedding Dress

I think I am currently into the idea of something between vintage and bohemian style. Still trying to "find myself" through all these explorations.

Not perfect but trying

To Himself:

Although I may be hard to get along at times and there may be times when I am hard to love, you were always ready to forgive and move on. Although there may be times when I felt that I could do with someone better than you and said mean things to hurt you, you still said that you love me even when your eyes were filling up and I could see the pain in them.

There were times when I wished that I was with someone richer and romantic, but I know that no riches in the world can buy me a good man. You may not have a lot of money but you always try to give me the best you could.

When my old laptop died on me, you gave me your MacBook Pro because you think that I needed it more than you and you did not want me to waste money. You reprogrammed everything in it with the applications registered to my name. You learnt to be contented with your iPad mini while I added your MacBook to my iPad 2 and smartphone. You gave me the best within your capabilities.

I wanted a romantic and beautiful wedding and I got mad that you wanted to simplify and cut costs so that more savings could go to our new home. I felt that you did not love me enough to make the wedding a memorable one but in fact, you wanted more than that. You wanted a home more than a wedding because you wanted a life with me together, not just one memorable day in our lives. I see it now.

There were times when you treated me like a dude, playfully punched my arm a little too hard and even nearly twisted my skinny wrist once, but that was only because you never had a girlfriend before and didn't know how to treat me right. You wanted your only girlfriend to be your wife and lover for life and I feel so privileged that you chose me, so that I may have you fully for myself, without having to share you with the ghosts and shadows of any ex-girlfriends.

You may not be very sensitive to my needs and preferences but I know you try, in your own "mannish" way, by getting me a portable phone charger and (pink) USB cables, so that I will never be out of touch when I am oceans away.

We are both often busy with our separate lives but you bought me little toys so that I will always bring a piece of you with me wherever I go, be it snowy Moscow or beautiful Maldives. You wanted to make sure that I was never alone even when I am far away from home or when I see less of you.

You would message me almost every day to say "I love you" and "I miss you". You would spam my phone with messages and Line stickers of worried Brown bear whenever I fell asleep and forgot to tell you that I have landed safely. Although there were times when I kicked up a fuss about seeing very little of you, I was never really far from your thoughts despite your busy schedule. I see it now.

I got really upset at you when I heard you snoring mid-coversation but thinking back, you had a late night talking to me on the phone the day before followed by a long day at work and a heavy dinner. It did not mean that you did not care for what I had to say, but that you wanted to spend time and be with me despite your hectic life and fatigue. I see it now.

I had been reading "Chicken Soup for the Soul - Happily Ever After" and I cried over some touching stories, gleaned wisdom from some and decided to take time for some self-reflection. Like the way some people described how their lives flashed before their eyes when they were on the brink of death, I saw our relationship danced before my eyes like filmstrips. They were still the same memories, but I saw them in a different light for the first time. Instead of critical eyes, I saw them through more empathetic and loving eyes. I see it all now.

Although some things still remain unchanged, like how I am moody and hard to love at times, and how your salary and savings are something I constantly fret about, I will make a conscious effort to be more loving and focus on the things that really matter. All the riches in the world would not buy me a good man, especially an exceptionally loving man that would reply "I love you" in response to a childish and spiteful comment of "I hate myself for choosing you."

Enough said. This loving and silly man, my future husband = you, is a priceless gem. I was too busy seeing the things that did not measure up that I failed to see the immense amount of treasures within you. Don't give up on me. I will learn to be a good wife to you, even if it takes me a lifetime.

Braids and chignon

My younger brother is registering his marriage next month and my future sister-in-law has asked my little sis to help her with the makeup and hairstyling. Being the usual midnight owl and having mid-length hair, I was naturally my sister's preferred subject to practise hairstyling on.

My little sis does not have formal training in bridal hairstyling and she learnt all those skills simply from watching YouTube videos or reading up instructions on the Internet. Last week she tried doing a chignon with braids and the photos are as follow:

My little sister trying the same hairstyle for the second time. It was quite messy the first time but she got better at it.

The back view of the hair after she was finished with it.

From the side

Adding a simple tiara is a nice touch, and I like how nicely the tiara sits on the hair.

I cut a section of the beaded lace I bought at Spotlight ($14.99/m), and used it as a hairpiece, instead of the tiara:

If vintage is more your style, place a lace hairpiece on the side. Having some pearls sewn to the lace will give it a more elegant touch. I was feeling lazy, so I just used a really thin plastic hairband and tucked both ends of the lace under the hairband.

Top view of the lace hair piece.

We had a lot of fun exploring the different looks. There were also a few learning points while we were trying out the chignon/braid hairstyle. As much as braids add very nice details to an otherwise plain hairstyle, it can be rather tricky. I ended up with a lot of "bald spots" because the hair were not properly parted and my sister tied the braids too tightly:

Look at that bald patch! I certainly hope that I am not balding! If my sister had taken bits of hair and add it on to the braid as she worked on it instead of just randomly grabbing a bunch of hair and start braiding away, that bald patch would be at least minimised. Loose braids would help too.

I used the same piece of lace and placed it near my collarbone. It will work very well as a choker too. This is one of the DIY projects I have on my list. I ordered some faux pearls and coral beads online and they arrived just before I left for Jo'burg. I will be working on the lace chocker once I find time.