Not perfect but trying

To Himself:

Although I may be hard to get along at times and there may be times when I am hard to love, you were always ready to forgive and move on. Although there may be times when I felt that I could do with someone better than you and said mean things to hurt you, you still said that you love me even when your eyes were filling up and I could see the pain in them.

There were times when I wished that I was with someone richer and romantic, but I know that no riches in the world can buy me a good man. You may not have a lot of money but you always try to give me the best you could.

When my old laptop died on me, you gave me your MacBook Pro because you think that I needed it more than you and you did not want me to waste money. You reprogrammed everything in it with the applications registered to my name. You learnt to be contented with your iPad mini while I added your MacBook to my iPad 2 and smartphone. You gave me the best within your capabilities.

I wanted a romantic and beautiful wedding and I got mad that you wanted to simplify and cut costs so that more savings could go to our new home. I felt that you did not love me enough to make the wedding a memorable one but in fact, you wanted more than that. You wanted a home more than a wedding because you wanted a life with me together, not just one memorable day in our lives. I see it now.

There were times when you treated me like a dude, playfully punched my arm a little too hard and even nearly twisted my skinny wrist once, but that was only because you never had a girlfriend before and didn't know how to treat me right. You wanted your only girlfriend to be your wife and lover for life and I feel so privileged that you chose me, so that I may have you fully for myself, without having to share you with the ghosts and shadows of any ex-girlfriends.

You may not be very sensitive to my needs and preferences but I know you try, in your own "mannish" way, by getting me a portable phone charger and (pink) USB cables, so that I will never be out of touch when I am oceans away.

We are both often busy with our separate lives but you bought me little toys so that I will always bring a piece of you with me wherever I go, be it snowy Moscow or beautiful Maldives. You wanted to make sure that I was never alone even when I am far away from home or when I see less of you.

You would message me almost every day to say "I love you" and "I miss you". You would spam my phone with messages and Line stickers of worried Brown bear whenever I fell asleep and forgot to tell you that I have landed safely. Although there were times when I kicked up a fuss about seeing very little of you, I was never really far from your thoughts despite your busy schedule. I see it now.

I got really upset at you when I heard you snoring mid-coversation but thinking back, you had a late night talking to me on the phone the day before followed by a long day at work and a heavy dinner. It did not mean that you did not care for what I had to say, but that you wanted to spend time and be with me despite your hectic life and fatigue. I see it now.

I had been reading "Chicken Soup for the Soul - Happily Ever After" and I cried over some touching stories, gleaned wisdom from some and decided to take time for some self-reflection. Like the way some people described how their lives flashed before their eyes when they were on the brink of death, I saw our relationship danced before my eyes like filmstrips. They were still the same memories, but I saw them in a different light for the first time. Instead of critical eyes, I saw them through more empathetic and loving eyes. I see it all now.

Although some things still remain unchanged, like how I am moody and hard to love at times, and how your salary and savings are something I constantly fret about, I will make a conscious effort to be more loving and focus on the things that really matter. All the riches in the world would not buy me a good man, especially an exceptionally loving man that would reply "I love you" in response to a childish and spiteful comment of "I hate myself for choosing you."

Enough said. This loving and silly man, my future husband = you, is a priceless gem. I was too busy seeing the things that did not measure up that I failed to see the immense amount of treasures within you. Don't give up on me. I will learn to be a good wife to you, even if it takes me a lifetime.

Braids and chignon

My younger brother is registering his marriage next month and my future sister-in-law has asked my little sis to help her with the makeup and hairstyling. Being the usual midnight owl and having mid-length hair, I was naturally my sister's preferred subject to practise hairstyling on.

My little sis does not have formal training in bridal hairstyling and she learnt all those skills simply from watching YouTube videos or reading up instructions on the Internet. Last week she tried doing a chignon with braids and the photos are as follow:

My little sister trying the same hairstyle for the second time. It was quite messy the first time but she got better at it.

The back view of the hair after she was finished with it.

From the side

Adding a simple tiara is a nice touch, and I like how nicely the tiara sits on the hair.

I cut a section of the beaded lace I bought at Spotlight ($14.99/m), and used it as a hairpiece, instead of the tiara:

If vintage is more your style, place a lace hairpiece on the side. Having some pearls sewn to the lace will give it a more elegant touch. I was feeling lazy, so I just used a really thin plastic hairband and tucked both ends of the lace under the hairband.

Top view of the lace hair piece.

We had a lot of fun exploring the different looks. There were also a few learning points while we were trying out the chignon/braid hairstyle. As much as braids add very nice details to an otherwise plain hairstyle, it can be rather tricky. I ended up with a lot of "bald spots" because the hair were not properly parted and my sister tied the braids too tightly:

Look at that bald patch! I certainly hope that I am not balding! If my sister had taken bits of hair and add it on to the braid as she worked on it instead of just randomly grabbing a bunch of hair and start braiding away, that bald patch would be at least minimised. Loose braids would help too.

I used the same piece of lace and placed it near my collarbone. It will work very well as a choker too. This is one of the DIY projects I have on my list. I ordered some faux pearls and coral beads online and they arrived just before I left for Jo'burg. I will be working on the lace chocker once I find time.